I’m now well into my second month of Whole30. I took a one day “break” at the end of month one because it fell on Christmas day and I wanted to fully enjoy the day and the “off plan” foods that were around me. My final weight at the end of month one was 133.8. I had not seen that weight since early 2015.
For this second month of Whole30 I have committed to not weighing myself. It is hard. I caved one day in week 1 because I woke up feeling good and “lean” and was more curious about my weight than I could stand. I was at 135. That made me feel a bit frustrated. Logically I knew it didn’t matter, especially since the day before I had done a really hard workout and that likely meant some water retention. Weighing myself also made me realize that I really do need to stop weighing myself for awhile, and start focusing on other areas of “success” with this plan. I looked and felt leaner that morning, so why did it matter that the number on the scale wasn’t what I wanted to see!?! It shouldn’t! The success was how I FELT before I stepped on that scale. The success is in how my energy levels are up and stable. The success is in how I stayed on track New Years Eve, and my workouts, and all the other great things that are happening.
I’ve started to have people actually notice the changes in my body and comment on it. That feels pretty awesome. I am actually beginning to see the physical changes myself – in my calves and quads, shoulders and arms, and even my abs and hips. All great changes that feel really good to see. I’m starting to feel better in my clothes (less like I’m a stuffed sausage being smothered in them). It feels reminiscent of 2014 when I did my first Whole30 for six weeks and everything started coming together, and I began seeing the changes that I really loved seeing, and ended up (after a couple more months) with the body, weight, and performance that I just loved.
All of this progress is great, and I feel motivated to keep pushing full force with my plan to do Whole30 for four full months. What is crazy though, is the moments of self-doubt and self-sabotage that I sometimes feel on some days. When things are going the best, little thoughts creep in that are negative and unhelpful. Self-doubt, I suppose. But almost seem like thoughts of feeling like I don’t deserve this success. It makes no sense, because I DO deserve this success. I’m working for it and am so very deserving of it. It is really “funny” how the mind works sometimes… how those childhood issues come creeping in to try to bring you down and break your spirit.
This negativity will be one of the major things that I work on in 2018. I want to not just squash it, but to RESOLVE it. To come to a place where I don’t just try to shut up the negativity by stuffing it down, but to accept it and come to terms with it, and actually resolve it. It is time to stop letting those old demons take control.
It is going to be a GREAT YEAR! My theme for 2018 is “I CAN AND I WILL”!!! I can resolved old demons, and I can finish my Nutrition plan and reach my goals SUCCESSFULLY! I can keep working hard in the gym (now doing Weightlifting instead of Crossfit), and get stronger and fitter. And through it all I will keep learning to love my body and myself! Yes, it will be a GREAT YEAR!